"If only you knew how much I love you..."

I pray to my God, the God of my salvation.
I do not ask Him to show me the future,
Nor do I petition that He show me a solution.
What I ask is just that I may learn to trust.

My emotions get so out of wack many days,
I feel confused, excited, disappointed, upset,
Ecstatic, exhausted, and sick... all at once.
Most of all, though, I crave dependence.

To learn to trust God with these emotions
Is what He asks of me, honestly and openly.
"It hurts to give You what I must lay down...
....but when I let go, freedom is found...."

"And what about this? What about that?"
I ask God, forgetting about the resolve to trust.
Coming to the conclusion that I have no excuse,
I tell God, "It just hurts; it just hurts too much."

And in the midst of all of my confusion and pain,
He is ever faithful, and it always amazes me.
As I wait in silence and expectation before Him,
He says, "If only you knew how much I love you..."